Congratulations on taking the next step in your relationship. Now that you’re engaged, chances are you’re ready to begin planning the wedding of your dreams. While a ceremony and reception are part of the process of solidifying your love, it’s not the most important. It’s important to remember that a marriage is much more than a one-time event; it’s essentially the rest of your life. Two people (no matter how similar) must learn how to operate as one and create a foundation that supports them in being successful in love and life.
Though it may seem simple, adjusting to married life has its challenges. The best chance you have at defying the odds is ensuring that you’ve resolved personal issues and baggage before walking down the aisle. Below is a look at some of the most common things newly engaged couples should address.
Childhood Trauma and Relationship Baggage
When you enter into marriage, you bring your emotional baggage with you. While your partner is not expecting you to be perfect, they should not have to endure the pressures of healing past pains. Allowing childhood traumas, improper upbringings, and relationship baggage to go unresolved exacerbates issues in your marriage. For example, if you never got over being cheated on in the past, you’ll treat your spouse as if they too will violate your trust.
These insecurities and doubts can make it hard for a couple to evolve. Whatever you’re going through emotionally, it’s best to get it under control before getting hitched. Talk with a therapist, religious leader, mentor, support group, or trusted family member to begin healing from your past.
Debts and Poor Credit History
One of the biggest causes of divorce is money. Most newly engaged couples don’t know that in the eyes of the government and businesses, your financial status is combined. Your assets, debts, credit history, and taxes become a joint responsibility. While everyone has financial trouble on occasion, you don’t want to unload a bunch of mess on your spouse’s lap.
If you’re up to your eyes in debt, dealing with legal issues, or have a low credit score, you should resolve these problems before you get married. Take the next few months to get things in order. Whether that means negotiating with creditors or applying for a debt consolidation loan to lower your costs and pay down debts faster, doing this before you become namesakes will save you a lot of stress once you’re married.
If you have existing medical conditions or lead an unhealthy lifestyle, now is the time to change. Though your spouse vows to be there in sickness and health, you don’t need to put this responsibility on them prematurely. You guys are a team. Your success relies on your ability to work together. If one team member is physically or mentally unhealthy, it places a lot of pressure on the other person’s shoulders.
Visit a primary care physician to evaluate your health. Bring up any questions or concerns you have about your condition or improved well-being. Discuss any treatment options that may be necessary. Develop a routine to manage your existing conditions and talk with your fiance about what it entails. Lastly, begin developing healthy habits like dieting, exercising, managing stress, and getting adequate sleep to strengthen your mind and body.
Ask anyone that’s been married more than a year, and they’ll tell you that it’s far from easy. While this shouldn’t discourage you from tying the knot with the love of your life, it should shed some light on the importance of being prepared. By taking the time to resolve personal problems before getting married, you increase your chances of living happily ever after. Whether you’ve got childhood trauma, relationship baggage, horrible finances, or medical issues, do yourself and your fiance a favor and spend part of your engagement getting things in order. Once you’re on the right track, then you two can plan the wedding of your dreams.